except for your character flaw for favoring U of A...you're fine.
(Actually my niece is there now. Seems she preferred it to Auburn -sniff sniff)
I don't agree with some of what you say b/c I don't understand it. Fair enough?
Like, are you happily reconciled with your h now and if so,
how'd it happen?
Is it really the same as rysmom when she's been stuck in limbo for 4 years?
Plus, my own experience (which I guess we ALL project at some points here b/c what else do we "know"?)
is that 2 relatives did divorce and then remarried...they'd have gone on in limbo forever and NOT restored their m's if they'd stayed stuck. I don't want to say to file as a tactic but honestly, it might just work with her sitch. What she's doing sure hasn't...
Plus for ME, Limbo would have slowly but steadily killed something in me that would not be recoverable, I fear...kwim?
Can we agree she needs to DO something different?
Seems like DB 101 to me.
VC just a last point-and again, I don't recall what ended up happening in your sitch so forgive me if I'm wrong or off base here.
but, if my h were to enter another MLC or had a lasting affair
or ANY type of serious marital crisis again, I simply KNOW i'd be fine. No way would I go through the same crap again or for as long.
In all likelihood I'd leave and not look back. Not sure.
But I KNOW I would not endure another "TIME" like that again in my life. Life is too short.
DBing is for me, an odd blend of "life long process" AND a "once in a lifetime event"...
I won't let myself get that hurt again. And that's not by shutting him out at all.
Its by protecting/comforting & loving myself more now than before, and knowing what I now know...no one can ever do that to me again, short of me losing one of my kids.
I find this not sad at all, but curiously empowering. Hope that makes some sort of sense to you.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
