MLC Only lasted 1 month? It seems unlikely....

[Willing1]

Ct,

Thank you. I agree that the MLCer seems to change their mind quickly and frequently. It feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back sometimes. I think my W is afraid she will loose 'something' if she decides to commit and stay. I don't believe she knows what the 'it' is that she would be loosing and that makes it difficult for her.

I also agree that I can not change her. I now think to myself, if I was her, would I be attracted to me? I can see where my pleading her to stay or begging or making her feel guilty or showing how great our M was is not going to make me look attractive. So, all I have that I can do is to work on me.

I would be attracted to me if I was happy, energetic, working on myself, becoming involved in the world and showed signs that I am a fun, kind, loving person that is not done growing and striving to be 'more'. I think she wants to be with some one that wants more from life. I know that I want more from life and this growing and rebuilding process is good for me no matter what happens with the R.

I have been in a better place recently and some of that obviously has to with us getting along better but I have been out doing more for me and not sitting around waiting for her to come. That behavior just felt to pathetic to continue. I do not want to be a puppy dog sitting by the door waiting for her to come home. I am a human with a car and can go anywhere I want. It is time for me to see what life has in store for me.

I will pray for you and I have Sooo much more empathy for anyone struggling along these lines than I used to. My dentist's lab tech said she was going through a D and I almost wanted to reach over and give her a hug and tell her she would be ok no matter what happened with the D. I didn't hug her.....that would have been over the line but I did talk with her for a minute and allowed her to share her feelings with me for a minute. I actually felt better just by listening and she seemed to feel better too.

I really don't what it is that I am trying to say other than we will be ok. You will be ok, I will be ok, and maybe they will be ok too. I can only work on me today and I am not sure exactly but that seems good enough for today. Growth perhaps?

Will