I'm glad you brought up the points you did, Ken. And 25, I like your counter arguments. They were very similar to the things I was going to say. I wouldn't change a thing.
And to add to it, yes, I am fearful that I am becoming the aggressor. And so to respond to Ken's post, yes, I think I'm on a dangerous path currently.
I cannot continue to drive 2 hours a day, have a very labor intensive job, be a single parent to a baby, take care of myself AND DB. I can't do it. Something has got to give.
So I crunched the numbers and talked with sister.
I can do an apartment with her. And without a friggin cent of H's money.
Child care, child supplies, my bills, AND rent. Because the place I found is 5 miles from my school.
Much better than my father's 55 miles. Or even my 15 miles from my house.
When I went over the logistics with sister, I realized the things that I was originally calculating into my budget would be split (things that I paid for completely by myself when living with H). Things like groceries, utilities, and the like. And I wouldn't be paying for house maintenance (I really do miss that part of apt life). If I drove absolutely no where else besides school and work, I would fill up my gas tank about every 35 days. I know I'll drive other places, and that's unrealistic, but OMG. I'm currently filling up every 3 days. That's right. 50 bucks, every 3 days.
AND I can still dump a ton into my savings.
I think if there's any way to save my M, I have to get my living situation under control. I'm resentful, exhausted, and it's eating up ALL my time and cash.
Plus, I love my sister dearly. I have missed her so much in the year she's been gone to Germany.
I think I will get a 6 mo lease, pay it all up front with my savings (maybe I'll get an addtl discount, and instead of paying to the apt, pay back my savings), and if H and I reconcile, then awesome, I don't have to pay anything to break my lease, and I'm only out a thousand bucks or so. And I told sister I would pay my half of the utilities or whatever for the remainder of the lease if I were to leave prematurely.
I called H and left him a vm. He texted back saying "what's up"
M: I found an apartment. And I wouldn't need your money.
