WAH - It's getting ugly

[25yearsmlc]

H still hasn't responded to my email regarding finances. If he's so eager to move on, why is he putting it off? I kind of wish he'd hurry so I can start making plans of my own. I hate feeling like I'm relying on him. Next week, I have appointments with a couple of attorneys. I just want to get an idea of what my rights are/would be. My IC thinks that after the interviews, I need to matter of factly tell H about it. IC seems to think it might be an eye opener for H. What do y'all think?

LET HIM find out when HE sees a JAG, which you can also do btw. (I'm a former JAG myself). And stop pushing him towards the finalization...

what is your goal there? Moving on? Okay...that's not impossible to do without also making him file for divorce is it?

Your h probably thinks all he has to give you is BAQ b/c that's what the Army requires IN LIEU of a legal order otherwise, as in, while waiting for a court to decide.

IF he presses you, suggest HE see a div L (I think it'll be eye opening and better for him to hear it from "his" L than your version of what your L said to you...)

Is he enlisted? In school?

I think you need a C who is more familiar with DBing if they were telling you to inform your h of the "law". Sounds almost punitive, like he's stuck with you now. And he'll feel more trapped.

That's too much like you are teaching him a lesson and

it's NOT a spouses' job to "teach them lessons or show them consequences,

b/c life does it for them and us." (That's a quote from my excellent DB coach).


DETACH....have no expectations of him for now and don't pin him down on times with the kids.

Tell the kids nothing as well. If he shows up great but if not their little hopes won't be dashed.

Document his visits though...