Everything is down, but I still look at them on our computer or in the cupboards - I can't help it. Our house is so us in every way.....it is designed in our colors, tastes and style. We did such a good job on the renovations and now I have to live here and look at it every night. Saddens me that I made the whole experience a downer because I wasn't happy with the suburb, even though it is one of the best in the city we live, but I wanted to be closer to the city.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
Everything is down, but I still look at them on our computer or in the cupboards
Doesn't sound like everything is down.....
Why do you keep touching the hot stove?
Put the computer photos in a separate folder or if you still can't resist looking put them on a flash drive or burn them to CD and lock them up in a drawer. Same with the ones in the cupboard.
Look Cam, we're not trying to come down on you, we're just trying to help you detach. It's what YOU need right now.
And listen, we know it's not easy.
We've all been there.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
We know its hard, bloody hard, but have got to do this.
I know it takes a lot of willpower
I think I have looked at some pics on the pc twice over the last 4 months, and on each of those occasions I SAID OUTLOUD, WHY AM I DOING THIS and then stopped.
My wedding pics are on the cupboard, and haven't looked at them since, next time will be when I box them up and put them up the loft.
Great idea BTW drew about burning them to disk, and puting the disk away.
It's similar to snooping, doing it just creates more hurt, SO DON'T DO IT
DETATCH, DETATCH
and
DETATCH
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
Everyone is right. You need to focus on you. Start asking everyone who you encounter if they want to go out for a beer or a movie. Force yourself out of your comfort zone and make it a point to talk to strangers while you are waiting in line at the deli, or where ever you shop. It will start helping you.
I hate to suggest this because it may be controversial, but maybe you should talk to your doctor about a temporary antianxiety medicine such as Lexapro. Some of the lower level medicines are not addictive and are not mind altering drugs or narcotics. Some such as Lexapro help your brain process the serotonin you already have which helps level your mood swings.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
Agree with NTXSD, and the others. RE: the ADs. Shouldn't be controversial. It's just a personal decision. If you think you might need some help see your GP or make an appointment with an IC (ask if their practice can perscribe, many can't and thus don't mention them as options). Get some objective advice. Just two words of wisdom - first, if you opt to explore this with the an IC, start NOW. In some areas the waitlist is weeks or months long (for the good ones anyway) and the medication, if you opt for that, takes time to work. Second, think about whether or not to mention this to your W. Unless you know she'd be supportive and accepting, might be better keep it to yourself for now. Not advocating either way.....just offering up my mistakes to learn from....
Thanks, they are all valid points. My doctor has put me on an AD called zoloft. I've had it for about 6 weeks now, it doesn't seem to do much, so they increased the dosage this week. My W takes lexapro and has on and off for a few years. It scares me that I am now in this position and relying on medication to get by. I always used to worry about my W taking that stuff, as she has such a history in her family of bipolar and depression: her mom and sister. I would never tell my W about this. I feel it would make me look even weaker and more pathetic, as I always had such a negative view about these drugs when she was on them.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
So my W just texted me and asked if we can catch up for coffee tomorrow. Not sure what to do......I do want to see her, but I'm scared of what I will hear. Also, feel like I can't keep hiding and probably have to face this at some point and just get it over and done with.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
