JB, I appreciate your prayers more than you know....
MB, thank you for that, I am looking for that strength but right now its evading me. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry- this too shall pass, I know.
Journaling...
I feel like I'm at my wit's end. In the past 24 hours H has gone from saying he would buy a place for me, with the intention of us staying together and using it as a rental in the future, to only being willing to rent something.
I guess my problem with this is that it means a guarantee of not getting back together for the term of the lease- at least a year from everything I've looked at. And he won't offer anything in terms of what I should be looking for; will he cover utilities, for how long, etc. Part of me says, take it and shut up, the other part of me wants me to tell him to kiss my rear end, I'll figure it out for myself.
He did tell me at one point he was only staying with me because he would lose so much of his income, and renting a crappy apartment for me is a lot cheaper than divorce, right?
Does anyone know if I accept this offer now, will that affect a D if it happens? Setting precedence?
I thought I was doing such a good job of detaching, and it flew right out the window. I also failed miserably at DBing today, crying my eyes out on the phone with H. He just shocked me with the sudden, drastic turn around.
Advice? Thanks in advance. I am so worn out having to explain to my D why her mommy is crying again...
