I think the first part of the dialogue went really well, all things considered. I'm sorry the second part of the dialogue tanked like it did.
I read the last email to her twice. The first time I read with what I imagined to be your voice with a very calm, non-angry tone. It didn't sound half bad. Then, I read it again with an imagined elevated voice with an angry tone. I got a different take in reading it both times. With email, you can't always detect the tone.
It sounds to me like she read the email with an angry tone. In her irrational state of mind, she lashed out.
I think there's a possibility she was testing you, to see what version of Telemark she was going to get.
Which version of Telemark did you show her with the last email? Did all of that need to be said? What parts of that did she already know? More importantly, how did you feel about it? Better or worse?
Don't get me wrong. IMO, she deserves everything and more SS24 can dish out. She deserves everything you gave her, too. What she is doing is very, very wrong. It's extremely jacked up. She will reap what she sows.
You are being very nice to hold of on the D. She sounds like she is coming apart at the seams. It is not fair of her to blame you for her son's reaction. We all just want only the best for you.
I've researched all of the D regulations in PA. As I said, the original intent was to split as amicably as possible. I need to let her calm down before I bring up the subject again.
Thanks for all of your comments. I was close to getting sucked in yesterday, and as jb pointed out, perhaps the last e-mail contained more than it should have. But I had reached the point where I felt it needed to be said.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
TM, with any plan maintain your overall objective and allow for adaptation and improvisation during execution. I’ve seen you do this before. I have confidence you will do so again. Controlling ourselves brings its own peace.
I believe most WAS ride their own rollercoaster cycling through euphoria, anger and frustration. It is a mixed bag and I think you did well to engage as little as you did.
Time is still your ally.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Your W definitely sounds like she is in her own world which makes little sense to any of us on the outside looking in, but I feel you are doing the right thing. Time is if anything our greatest ally in all our sitches.
KD, I'm holding off on the D for now only because W is in rage mode, and I will get zero cooperation from her about anything. I'd rather wait a few weeks, or even a few months, and get her to work with me on the filing. Otherwise, it will become a battle.
Smart decision. She'll cool off and be back around. Hang in there! I think you handled yourself well.
Another good news/bad news part of all of this - and I suspect most of you are experiencing the same thing: I keep having to buy smaller clothes or get them altered.
Not to brag or anything..OK, I'll brag just a little...in March I was at 218 lbs. with a 40" waistline. This morning I'm 175 lbs. with a 33" waistline. And daily trips to the gym have, well, reshaped the rest of me.
W, you are going to miss out on a good thing...
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
TM, that is a good thing and a little bragging is fine! I think a lot of us could say the same thing (especially jb, he has to have legs of steel by now).
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
