My H & I have been married for almost 16 y been together almost 18. My H is almost 42 and I just turned 36. We have a d 14 and a son 12.
A couple of months after my H's 40th birthday I found him on social networking sites sending emails to other woman telling them how beautiful they were and asking for more pictures. I was completely in shock. Things slowly started going down hill from there. I lost two grandparents and my husband could really seem to care less. It got the point to where he would come home from work and do his own thing and I would do mine. I started to get really depressed. We didn't talk anymore, and we hardly did anything together. When we did he would end up drinking and say very hurtful things to me.
I went to my pastor that I had known for almost 20 years and talked to him about my marriage. My pastor started telling me that I needed to get out of the marriage so I can be myself again. In January, my H & I got into a huge fight over the stupidest thing. He asked if I was done yet because he was. (He now saying he never said that!) I packed my things and my s and I moved to my mother's house. My d refused to go because she has always been a daddy's girl.
I continued talking to my pastor and told me I was doing the right thing. He said my H would never change and I needed to be happy once again. My H begged and pleaded for 2 months for me to come back, but I refused. On March 1, I filed for divorce. My H and I had no contact except communication about our kids.
In May, I finally realized how much I missed my H and that I really wanted to work things out. I went to my H and discussed this with him. We started dating a little bit. I then found out that he had joined an online dating site and had met someone. He told me that it wasn't serious and she wasn't even in this country. I started going to C and she told me that this woman really wasn't a threat because they had never met and probably never would. She told me to be patient and keep trying to work things out with H.
In July, he told me that he was starting to have feelings for this woman, but he couldn't say that he didn't love me anymore. Once I found out more information about this woman, I became convinced that she was trying to scam my H. So we continued dating and I would spend at least one night on the weekend with him. He started going back and forth about wanting to be with me and then not wanting anything to do with me.
Towards the last weekend of August, my mother and I got into a huge fight over my H. She had never liked him and was angry that I was willing to work things out with him. My husband suggested that I stay with him for the weekend so I can find somewhere else to live. The first night I slept on the couch, but after that he wanted me to sleep in the bed with him.
That following Monday, I looked for a place of my own. We live in a very small town and I only have a work at home job that pays VERY little. I could not find a place that I could afford. My H said I could stay here until I found a different job and could get my own place.
He was still going back and forth about working things out with me. I told him I would sleep in the spare room if that was what he wanted and he told me no. Since I have been living here again, he has started going out every weekend. He will be gone until early the next morning and coming home smelling like alcohol.
I started doing some investigating on this OW and found out last week that it definitely is a scam. My H has sent "her" a lot of money and was hiding it from me. During my investigation I found out that he has sent a lot more money then I originally thought. I had someone send him an email informing him that he was being scammed.
He was very upset, but wouldn't talk to me about it. He did say that he was done with her, but that very night he was back online looking for other women. One minute he tells me he is done and the next he is the complete sweetheart that I fell in love with.
He is insisting on going through with the divorce even though I have told him that I don't want to. Right now he is really pushing it hard for all the paper work to get done. I did get a letter yesterday from my attorney saying that our court date has been moved back to November 10. I just pray that by that time, he has come to his senses and gives this marriage 110%.
I pray all the time for guidance, and I truly believe that God does not want me to give up on my marriage. I just feel so hopeless right now. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is there any hope that we can make this marriage work? I love him with all my heart and I have apologized for hurting him.
