So here I am unable to sleep. As i mentioned above...yesterday was like bd never happened. It was a nice day. No arguing, no talk about r. He wanted to cook tonight...so he did. We watched a movie. It felt okay, not strained.... this is good stuff^^^. But expectations will get you everytime...
a big hug and 3 i love yous as he went to bed and down the stairs. I wanted to follow him, then decided not to. In reality i just wanted him to take me in his arms. We are so far apart as far as being intimate. I hate that. When we used to have an argument, we would make up...then we would feel healed and it seemed to make our love for one another stronger. Expectations...drop them for now.
But we dont have this anymore now.
You may again someday. It hasn't been all that long CT...
He said a week ago that the last time we were together was not satisfying to him, that something was missing. I felt so horrible hearing this. Like i'm not good enough. He's the MAN....this isn't about YOU...it's probably his fantasy of the perfect woman (the one who doesn't care for him) and no one can compare to that...this is not a reflection on YOU....seriously. OR it's his guilt making him feel inadequate...again, not about YOU.
But your reaction to this is within your control and IS about you. Be confident. It's his loss at least as much as yours. Let him discover that.
I realize this is probably tmi for the board.
Hardly tmi for THIS board...(no such thing)
I'm just feeling so much tonight with no where to put it.
This is not going to magically get better in a day...but i am so glad we had one good day together.
Savor it, have more, let them grow in number and then, in depth. TIME...times like this are on your side.
Don't push or "need", okay? Not helpful.
GAL...please...it's the single most important thing YOU CAN DO.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
