He said a week ago that the last time we were together was not satisfying to him, that something was missing. I felt so horrible hearing this. Like i'm not good enough.
Ctflor - this is so common, please don't take it personally. ok, that was the dumbest thing I have ever said! how can you NOT take it personally? But trust me when I say that this has happened to most of us.
The last time I had sex with my H (months ago...should have been much longer than that!) I felt like I raped him. only a few of my really close friends on this board know this happened. but I see you in pain and I will share my story so you won't feel alone.
Back in Feb. - my H moved back home after being separated for 7 months. He moved back in because we were going to "try". that lasted for about 1 day. He couldn't let his girlfriend go. so instead of moving out, he just started sleeping on the couch. It was a strange time, we got along so well, even cuddled alot. but he always had his girlfriend.
On night, I had a lot of wine...He had been in my bedroom watching TV. I came into the room laid down and reached over and started kissing his neck (he stopped kissing my lips when the bomb dropped). I could tell he was "up" for the situation, but his mind was not. He kept saying saying, "no TAMF we shouldn't do this". but I was so desprate that I pushed it and we had sex. It was HORRIBLE. Afterward, I cried and cried. I had raped him. The only reason he had sex with me was because he felt guilty.
I have never been more humiliated in my life.
We always had a great sex life. and THIS is what it came down to?
So my advice to you is not to push it. Let it happen when he wants it. Otherwise it could be horrible. and you don't want that memory, trust me.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
