Thank you Mr Bond and Accuray for your posts. They have both helped a good deal.
As far as my H basing our reconciliation and recommitment to the marriage on the spark and in love feeling- no he is not expecting to have that bask all the time. He understands now that it is something that comes and goes. He is saying that the affair happened because of it. He, at the time, though he did not seek her out, felt since he was having feeling like that for her that it must mean that he was supposed to be with her and not me. When the A ended, and I have been working on us, he realized he was falling back in love with me and that is how he came to terms with why he had the affair. He had been missing the "in love" feelings and did not know he could get them back for me. I know he should have talke to me should have tried but he did not. And yes I do know there will be ups and downs. We have already been having some. I am prepared since I have been reading a great deal on the recovery in all this. We have another big challenge....my H is about to go on a remote for 15 months. He will be coming home for visits every four to five months for about two weeks at a time, we will be emailing and syping but he will be in Turkey and I will be in the States so what is the best way to DB and work at affair recovery when a couple is separated?
