Thanks for the words, Faith. Something you've said has been on my mind off and on for a while now: for me to "grow to never allow this to take place in [my] life again." They are wise words. However, this experience with my W may forever affect my trust in having an R with someone else in the future. Her A was the one thing I thought that she was never capable of, and yet she did it. How will I ever know that a future partner won't do the same thing? I imagine that we're all in that boat, unfortunately.
Having thought about it, I believe that my "double-checking" with my W about if she wanted to legally S or not was probably a bad idea. It seemed like no big deal at the time, and I did not write the e-mail in an aggressive or wordy manner, but looking back, it seems like I may have applied just the tiniest hint of pressure. It might have spooked her away. The important thing for me to remember is the notion of doing a 180: me backing off from her has yielded positive results. Moving toward her in any way will probably blow up in my face.
However, as a result of my new ways of thinking, I feel better than I have in months. It's really very simple: the more you think about something, the bigger it gets in your mind. And the bigger it gets, the more power it has over you. So I'm done allowing my W to have all of this power over me and my emotions. Or allowing anything else in my life that power, either.
