Three years ago.................

[ddstartingover]

I don't write much about specific things my H says/does anymore, because I know that what really matters is me getting through this. I handle each situation as it comes, and move on, but I'm going to journal a bit today.

I've read (or it is my understanding), Jack, that you see the hallmarks of a MLC'er as one that exhibits indecision or fluxuation of going back and forth without clear direction;and becoming the polar opposite of who they once were. I've always felt that my H was going through a MLC, but he never fluxuated on his direction, that I could see. His direction has only been out, altough rocky at times. Other than not actually going through with the D although he insists he wants one. He did become someone that I felt was the exact opposite of who he always was. So....MLC? I don't know.

He does go through periods of anger, and over the past few days I could feel it building again. Our D14 has an athletic injury in the middle of her high school season. We talked briefly last night about getting her in for some PT today. I texted and told him that I had the appointment set up. He replied "ok," and then later asked if I was going to take her or pick S12 up from practice. I answered that I didn't think there would be a confict and that we all had to be back at school by 6 anyway. (I always pick them up after school/practice everyday anyway.) He replied and asked if I was planning to take S with me to the appointment and I answered that I was, but then a friend came in and offered to take him to get a sandwich and then back to school for the meeting that we all had to be at.

H replied "anyone but me?" I have NEVER denied him access to any of the kids. He gets them every Monday and Tuesday nights and every other Friday/Saturday. Today is my night. I planned to handle it as always, without asking for help. I didn't see his text as an offer to help me. I replied that it certainly wasn't the case, that I didn't know he was offering to help and when the friend stopped by and offered, I accepted since it was something that helped me - and it made sense. He answered with comments suggesting that I was sending S with someone that made poor parenting choices for her oldest daughter. I replied by saying I didn't always approve of her parenting choices, she is my friend, and I thought a sandwich and ride would be ok - but if he was offering, and wanted to pick him up to let me know. I said that I wasn't intentionally trying to cut him out, but saw an opportunity to make my schedule easier and took it (again there was no offer to help). No answer. Two hours later I again texted and asked that he let me know if he was going to pick him up. No answer.

Help me, here. Am I out of line? Did I really screw up here? I don't think so. It's my night. I haven't asked for his help unless I absolutely couldn't handle a conflict. I know that his anger has been building, so my initial thought is that this is just part of that, but maybe I'm seeing this wrong?