W is moving out.....life goes on...

[In_Shock]

With W being out of town until Friday, I've not posted much. It's been quiet. S and I have had so much fun. We've played, watched movies, enjoyed each other's company.... I cannot imagine how I could make it if W insists on taking him. I love him so much and love being with him every chance I get.

As her return nears on Friday, I find my anxiety creeping back in. I've been able to eat a little and slept much better the past few nights since she's been gone. BUT now I'm thinking of her return. We've had pleasant - nice convos at night on the phone. I keep remembering last week when she told me she's moving out to pursue R wiht OW..... Just after I thought we had really 'connected' one night. She told me that night she felt (when I thought we were connecting...) with me that night just like she would with any of her other FRIENDS...shot me right down.

I'm glad she's being pleasant. I miss being with her as a partner. She even told me sometime in the past few weeks that I'm not her best friend...she doesn't have one she says. It helps so much to read other's posts and see that the whole WAS thing is pretty standard. Push and pull. I;m trying hard to drop the rope.

I'm scared of her leaving. Not sure how I will get through the actual period of selling the house/any legalities/etc... I sometimes think I don't have it in me. I know....I know.... I need to stop the what iffing and start as iffing.

Tonight a friend of mine, her husband and kids are coming over for pizza and to hang out. S loves the kids -- it will be nice.