My w just sent me a text indicating that she wants to take the kids away to her parents (8 hours drive away) for thanksgiving. They will be gone for at least 4 days. I responded by asking her if plans would include or exclude me. I don't want my kids gone on every holiday as my wife runs away from spending quality time as a family. My initial response is to say that, I want the kids home for thanksgiving and that, if she wanted to go on her own, she could do that, or, she could stay here and we could enjoy the time together.
Some days I am really good at being detached from her... Today, I'm not. Roller coaster, go away. I have really been sticking to the list of dos and donts... I am doing my best to keep my 180s on track too. I did lose my patience with my youngest daughter on Monday when I caught her lying to us twice. My w indicated that she understood why I was upset with our d, but that it was too loud. I know that she knows that I have been working hard on staying even keel, because she said the other night when I asked her for her thoughts on how I handled the sitch with daughter, that everyone loses thier patience from time to time... I know that's true, and I also know that I am 100% better than I used to be,, It STILL feels like a setback though.
My wife has been working hard at her new job, I thought she would have shown some signs of improvement though...
I guess what I need advice on is besides GAL, what else can I do to stay with this program?
What other things could I be doing to spark the flame for her?
I want to tell her that if she would take the energy that she puts into her EA, and put that into our marriage, we could be in a different place. I can't help but think of the kids through all of this. I know that my youngest daughters acting out behaviors are a result of the tension between me and my W.
I need strength to carry on... I am losing my strength though.
Advice please...
Johnnie
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
