Hi, E! It is good to hear from you. First of all, happy belated birthday to your son! I hope he had a grand time celebrating his special day. I'm also glad to hear your daughter is coming around little by little. Yes, expressing anger is better than slipping into the dark pit of depression. No doubt she is watching your every move right now, and she will learn a very important lesson at a young age about forgiveness and grace. She's blessed to have you as her mom.
Reading your post brought back a lot of painful memories for me, and it makes me very sad for you. I will promise you this...the day will come when you sleep well again, when you are hungry again and are able to eat without feeling sick, when you feel happy and really smile and laugh again. The day will even come when you don't think about ow and the stupid A several times throughout the day. So, while my advice may not be worth much, take this from me, Been There, Done That lc4, with certainty....the sun will shine again.
By the way....the things you wrote about your H's ow remind me so very much of my H's ow . Not attractive (just plain), not a great body, not respected in the community or a great mom or a great anything (other than a pain in my rear). It is known that she is on anti-psychotic meds, has SERIOUS anger issues and is just plain MEAN. But like your H said, it isn't about any of those things. She said the right things at the right time to H, making him feel "loved" and "special." In their Fantasy Land of no bills, not having to juggle kids, not having to live together, no morning breath and bad hair days and PMS, no extended family pressures, etc. she was always perfect. The thing is, Fantasy Land goes bye-bye real quick when reality comes crashing down. Sounds like your H got a good dose of reality. I just hate that you and the kids had to be hurt in the process.
You are on the right path, and I commend you for that. Remember to put the R books down from time to time and read something that you just enjoy or watch a funny movie (my therapist's advice). Give yourself breaks from trying to understand the why's and what now's. Do your best to keep an open mind and a soft heart; things will happen as they are supposed to in time (says the woman who has no patience ). We are here for you, and I'm always in your corner!
ow 
). We are here for you, and I'm always in your corner!
