I have processed everything which has happened, thoughts are still with me most of the time, but it doesn't affect me.
DB principles are for me, to better myself, and they IMHO are working, not finished by a long way, but I am well into the journey!
I am no different to others here, feeling anger, frustration, victim mentality at times, and I accept this as is natural, what I choose to do with these feelings is MY choice, and I choose to just process them and let them be, but I don't not act on them, before all this - likely different if I am completely honest
I said something like this yesterday to my friend.
I can forgive W for the separation, as something needed to happen in our R, and I fully understand, that is why I am not bitter or resentful, W thought she worked on the M, but she only did with limited tools, so again, I cannot hold that against her.
Biggest thing I have learnt - is what Agape (unconditional love) actually means (I was explaining this to D14 last week, as she asked if I still loved her mum), to me, the realisation is that, yes I love my wife unconditionally, however this doesn't mean that I necessarily want to be with her.
As stated right at the beginning, and it's still the same, head and heart are not in sync here!
The 180's, or changes in myself are great, I love the new me (and the positive side benefit is that the kids see it, ohh, plus W has commented many times) and there have been quite a few.
I think one of the most positive changes is how I interact with the kids, I was a good dad, but now I fell a great dad.
Books read since bomb (which have all helped)
DB DR [edited by dbmod: reference not recommended nor allowed] 5 love languages
GAL activities are still good
I have 4 nights without the kids, and they get taken up nicely (this week, coffee with friend (female) then to other friends tonight, Thur curry and beer with a dif friend, Fri poker night with the lads, sat night out on the town)
Kids GAL, we still do shopping, Starbucks, bowling, cooking, pizza night with boardgames etc, we went to a theme park a couple of weeks back, and have just booked a weekend break at a holiday camp for Halloween weekend)
Last edited by dbmod; 12/31/1110:21 PM.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
