Let me save you some time, SHE WILL ALWAYS PICK ELSE
She'd drive off a cliff if it was between that and your M.
Your words are empty to her, all she sees is the manipulative person you are. The more you rage the better OM looks. He's prince charming, you're that jerk that pretends to be nice.
Sounds to me like the affair is as good as guaranteed. It's just a matter of time for it to get physical.
Don't you see that in many ways she is having this affair to spite you, to get back at you, and YES TO HURT YOU.
Why do you think she's so careless with letting you know about the EA. She wants you to know, either consciously or subconsciously.
Yes it sounds weak to leave it alone, and let her pursue it, but guess what you are powerless to stop it. You can only accelerate it. Fighting with her about it will only drive her to his arms.
By her latest actions, it's easy to tell she is in full WAW mode. She's ready to run. She WANTS to divorce. She's merely waiting for the right time. It happens time and time again here.
1. Bomb dropped 2. EA/PA discovered 3. DB period 4. Separation/divorce filed 5. Spouse returns/ stays with OM/ or finds other OM's
It's so predictable it's sad. There are variations, but it's mostly true.
So what to do GAL, or in [edited by dbmod: reference not recommended nor allowed] terms learn how to meet your own needs. You are still clearly hurting, we get that really. You need to be at the point where you are happy with or without her. That's what being integrated is about. Meet your own needs, don't rely on her. Once you reach that you'll have the confidence needed to win her back, or any other woman for that matter.
You are actively competing with OM whether you like it or not. In time he will show his flaws. What are you doing to look good once he does?
This will take time, whether you wait it out is up to you. We will understand if you don't.
