I'm glad you are in a good place and I also wish you could be a fly on the wall. Heck, I wish I could be a fly on the wall.
By the way, I've thought of some future titles for your threads:
Glossary Afterward Dust Jacket Summary...
Sequel...
Me: 35 Him: 43 Together: 19 1/2 years 1st Bomb (IDLYAM): March 2011 2nd Bomb (OW): April 2011 He abandons home/bills/everything: May 2011 He's bought a new house for OW: September 2011
Not singing victory yet, but if she comes back, AND you take her back, have you read passionate marriage by Schnarch? It's a very tough read, but has some great advice about building a M where BOTH partners can handle dealing with stress on their own, rather than mistakenly over relying on each other.
She ran away from her first M, then you, now she may run from OM, and maybe back to you. Nonetheless she is still running. PM has some great advice on learning how to "self soothe" and how to set the conditions to help your spouse teach themselves.
If things go well fri morning maybe you can pick up a copy afterwards?
I am very cautious at this point, and I am reading nothing into any of this. For all I know, she could be telling me they are running off to Vegas for an Elvis impersonator marriage ceremony.
She has so much work to do before she can be good for herself, let alone anyone else. I'm not changing my strategy for my own self-improvement or GAL activities one bit.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Good for you Tele. Stay strong my friend. What a roller coaster. I think you need to remain expecially calm, cool and collected in your contacts with her over the next few days.
She is all over the board and no one is comfortable with that. Show her a grounded and attractive Tele.
Good for you Tele. Stay strong my friend. What a roller coaster. I think you need to remain expecially calm, cool and collected in your contacts with her over the next few days.
She is all over the board and no one is comfortable with that. Show her a grounded and attractive Tele.
Best of luck to you.
What RO said
I have been keeping up with your sit TM, and couldn't remember if I has chimed in, so offering support now.
The rollercoaster is going to be one hell of a ride for your w. Try staying off it best you can, which I think you are trying to do
Keep on keeping on
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
I would almost be tempted to postpone or reschedule the coffee for a couple of days.... maybe tell her something came up and you need to meet a day or two later instead. That could show that you have been GAL'ing and aren't exactly available just waiting around for her.
I'm still kind of new at this, so hopefully others will chime in if that's a bad idea.
Just remember when you meet, be strong, steady, and happy. Try to just listen and validate, and try to not give any strong opinions one way or the other.
I offered advice to my stbx last night and it really backfired. She quickly got angry and left abruptly. :-/
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
That is all very interesting!! I am so glad you are in a good place right now. You are a great guy and have done so much work on yourself she would be lucky if you did take her back.
Stay tuned folks, who knows where this is going?