Hi Ic4, Your situation sounds so similar to mine at the moment. My H and I, too, interact for all intents and purposes as if we are happily married. With the exception that he sleeps over at a male friend's house every night.
I continue to feel that the 'separation' is all some sort of strange dream that I'm not really living.
And it feels to me that H is more or less 'sticking to his guns', for appearance sake.
Having made the decision to 'be alone' and having told his parents, he cannot now really back down, regardless of how good things are between us.
I also sometimes feel that he is using this time to 'test' me - either to see if I'm going to fall back into my judgemental, critical ways, or else just to punish me for all the hurt that he has endured over the last 3 or so years of his journey down the mlc path.
I wonder what advice a DB coach might offer you at this point. Is this something to explore?
I haven't been able to take up formal DB coaching because H handles all of my finances and would see what I was up to via phone and credit card statements (I assume this would be an immediate deal-breaker for him), plus there is just no money at the moment, at all, to channel in this direction.
Anyway FWIW, my thinking is just that I have to keep working to H's timetable; there is no benefit in rushing them.
Having said that, I'm not entirely sure how long you've been stuck in this phase. I've only been in it for about a month and a half.
Hope it helps to know that someone else understands exactly what you're going through, and is sending all manner of support throughout the ether! Hang on in there.
