I'm still here x3

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling---

Daytime TV suucks. I'll be glad to go back to work tomorrow.

I pulled out DR and started reading parts of it. It helps, I will admit that.
7 months today we've been apart. I went for a walk with a friend tonight and we talked about how I was 7 months ago vs how I am now. Complete night and day, and I'm proud of that. Obviously what happened with us had to happen, we couldn't continue to go on the way we had been.

Still....I hate being here, alone and not feeling well.
It reminds me of how alone I really am.

[a girl]

Glad you're making progress ... it sometimes helps to remind yourself that the only way to move is forward .. to whatever lies ahead.

[~¤DG¤~]

Ugh...woke up this morning with a fever of 102.
So it's another day on the couch for me. Thankfully I have an amazing boss who is very understanding.

I'm doing pretty good otherwise. My congestion is getting better so I am really hoping that I will be able to go back to work.

Haven't heard anything from H since that last text 2 days ago, and I guess that is ok.

Like my previous post, I've been reading parts of DR again.
I skipped the chapter on MLC because I didn't think it pertained to me, but has provided me with a lot of valuable information.

[~¤DG¤~]

Feeling better. I'll be able to go back to work tomorrow for sure.

I'm getting a much needed hair cut tonight and I'm looking forward to it.

[~¤DG¤~]

Talking to myself again---

Feeling tons better after being out of the house, getting my hair cut (it's adorable) and stopped at Starbucks for a peppermint cocoa. Mmmm delish.
I'm in no real hurry to get home, I've been a recluse for the past 3 days and a change of scenery is needed.

Trying hard to not feel depressed. I wish I didn't hurt so much inside. I wish I could feel at peace inside. If anything, I just want to feel whole again. Even if that means not being with my H any longer.

I feel like I have the word "Loser" written across my forehead somewhere.
People don't look twice at me. I feel like I'm nothing.

Last week when I was at the doctors office switching my birth control she told me to use precautions for the next week just to be safe. I about laughed out loud at that. Please....at the rate I'm going I'll be 40 before I am intimate with anyone ever again.

Yes...pity party of one...right here....

[~¤DG¤~]

Yep...it's me again!

I'm back at work today and it makes such a difference in my spirits.
It's been a good day so far.

Last night I wrote a long letter to my H, in my journal, and I won't ever share it with him but it gave me a chance to get a lot of things I was feeling out there.
It's amazing how therapeutic something like that can be.

[jbnati]

Last night I wrote a long letter to my H, in my journal, and I won't ever share it with him but it gave me a chance to get a lot of things I was feeling out there.
It's amazing how therapeutic something like that can be.

DG, I'm just sitting here thinking what a good idea that is. I don't think it necessarily has to be shared with anyone. I may just do that sometime soon! Before bedtime sometime, I'll light my favorite candle, get some music on and start writing!

I'm glad you're feeling better and you're back to work!

[OmegaZed]

Happy to see you are feeling better DG! Keep it up!

[GAL Man]

peppermint cocoa, yuck!!!!!!!!!!

Don't think much of your party either, LOL

Only joking DG

Good to see you back up again.

[~¤DG¤~]

You don't like peppermint hot chocolate?
It is so delish! One of my favorite fall/winter treats.

JB- I would suggest you write that letter. There may be more letters in the future. It gives you the chance to say what you need to say, but you don't have to worry about what the person who the letter is intended for is going to say, or think.

I kind of wish he could read it, because there are questions in there I would like answered, but I have to accept the fact that some questions never will be answered.

I haven't texted H since Monday and I won't.
I don't regret telling him I wish I could work things out, because I do.
But....a lot of that depends on his answers to some of my questions.

Over the past week people have asked me if I have considered dating or online dating. The answer is a big, fat no. I don't think I will be looking for that for a very, very long time.