Wife Says I fill her with hate when she sees me

[25yearsmlc]

to repeat for emphasis so YOU see what I'm pointing out to YOU

BTW - the fact that she could see that I was actually changing and still moved forward just lost all my respect for her. Regardless of how poorly I treated her and what a Nice Guy Syndromer I was, everyone deserves a second chance. So many people here have asked if I really want to save the marriage. I really really did for my kids but now it will take a miracle for her to regain my respect. At this point I think I am leaning towards not saving it.

speaking of second chances...

when you say "everyone deserves one", you just mean YOU deserve one,

or "everyone" BUT HER?


and don't over reach with the "nice guy syndrome" b/c there are a lot of other behaviors here of yours that are not so nice.

Conflict avoidant is often the euphemism for cowardly or passive aggressive.

And Her affair, IF IT IS ONE is just the easy way out for you.

That way, you won't have to work on YOU. You can point at HER and say "See? It's HER! She is WRONG and I am RIGHT...and we are not married...."


DBing isn't about who is "right," but about learning to be happy together.

and if all couples chose the path of blaming and not forgiving, no one would reconcile or learn REAL forgiveness, b/c

what YOU seem to forgive, is only what is easy to forgive.

That ain't the test of love my friend...

and if you want to talk about her not giving YOU a second chance for the years of your mistreating her...then

look in the mirror & ask about second chances you are willing to give.

I know it hurts - I do.

But don't forget the basics here. What do you KNOW? How'd you get here?

What do YOU own? No matter what you still own that!

And What do you WANT?


and are you confusing pride/ego with self respect?

There's a crucial difference. Learn it BEFORE you act.