Wife Says I fill her with hate when she sees me

[25yearsmlc]

So I am 99% that the relationship just became physical. She texted saying she was going to stay at the campus library late (she's complained multiple times that she can't study there). Then our nanny quit tonight so I texted W and told her. I am leaving town tomorrow on business. Instead of calling she asked me what time I am leaving tomorrow.

Under normal circumstances she would freak out and call me and it's pretty obvious she's with OM.

Am feeling really pretty low. But I have come to the conclusion that I am not moving out or short selling the house. The equity belongs to the kids and I am not going to let it go poof.

glad you see this^^^

So I am currently leaning towards setting a boundary when I get back in town, telling her I am not OK with her having an affair when we are under the same roof and she either needs to break it off or move out.

I realize this is not quite in line with DR and DB but I need to be true to my heart and as screwed up as I am and as many mistakes as I've made, it would not be right to just roll over and play dead.

I don't know what to say to this^^. It's a DB site. We are pro-m, but not at all costs. I get that. But what do you want us for?

You want us to validate your refusal to use the DB way or the way you misconstrue it or what? And have you actually READ the books??

Thanks everyone for listening and for your support.

Slow down, Take a breath. Decide NOTHING right now b/c it's your wounded pride deciding and that's not a good place to make choices from. Call a DB coach or a pro-m mc or someone who is in favor of the m.

And please don't ignore all the other things here about what YOU CAN control, ie YOU.

You still have to do that work...