Can my rollercoaster ride ever end?

[a girl]

Long and winding road.

My other threads are here:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2163385#Post2163385

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2167843#Post2167843

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2170802#Post2170802

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2173348#Post2173348

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2177609#Post2177609

Guess between my journaling and my complaining, I got up over 100 posts again.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2187363&page=12

Was doing better, but had a bad night last night. Differently, bad, though - no longer missing him in that "hope he comes back" way - just missing the person I thought he was, which is definitely not the person he turned out to be.

I have to say that since the realization that he very likely has NPD, it's been easier. Not *easy*, but *easier*.

Just wishing the rollercoaster ride would end.