Another crisis.....but H opening up now

[angel61]

I always look forward to your advice, Cyrena. Thank you for sharing, other peoples experiences are very valuable, especially in cases where the situations are similar.

That is true; I do seem to have more difficulty than the regular person in keeping my resolve in the dominance and control area. I have worked with a C but because of my understanding of the situation the C does not seem to get a sense of what I perceive is my failure, and seems to turn it around and expect my H to respond to it. I would say the C’s I encounter are of the “two people have to work together for an M to succeed”, and don’t really understand the path I have taken, that of standing and working on myself.

I must really be resistant to letting go, and just have to work double hard at it. Its really a mindset, and thinking back, I come from a FOO that was not cuddly, loving and that pushed me to achieve, be independent and pretty much be a go-getter, and not let gender stop me from achieving what any man could do as well. My mom is a career woman in a male dominated field (and so am I) and has done pretty well, she inspired me to be ambitious but I have also seen how she manipulates my dad to get her way. Needless to say she is very unhappy in her marriage.

I have tried to do the “fake it till you make it” but my H is very perceptive and knows exactly what I am doing. So now I am really coming down hard on myself to do it.

So far these last few days I have been busy trying to identify even the small tings I do that show me that I have not really been able to let go. I now catch myself when I look at OW’s FB page, when I think of conversation scenarios designed to casually catch H if he has seen or talked to OW (which of course never really worked in the past but just pushes H to lie), and at this point really just concentrate on myself.

Gotta let H go …. He asked me to let him handle it his way, end the R with OW his way, and I will just have to trust that he will do it…..in God’s grace…. and if he doesn’t, well, I will just have to deal with that later. In the meantime, I just will do what I need to do.


The keywords you gave me: A place of love, not hurt.... and bringing out the best in me .... I will write down and place in front of me to remind me everyday.

Thanks again and pray for me....