Hi, DC, I hope you are doing well today. Good luck in the triathlon!! Yes, by all means, spend less time here if you think it is hurting you. But, if you need advice, this is a good place to be in addition to your counselor, and AA. The people here are going through what you are going through. Some of us are at the beginning of the hell that is PA, EA, MLC etc. Some of are somewhere in the middle, muddling through, hoping the spouse sees our changes, and some of us are near the end of it, actually making a reconciliation work. Some of us, unfortunately, have not had the happy ending we expected, but have gained strength and confidence in ourselves to face the future without our spouses, and learned that a joyful life still awaits us someday.
I got the best advice ever from this site, as well as the books recommended by others, like DR and DB. I wouldn't have known to seek out a counselor who was pro saving M's; Christian-based. I wouldn't have known to stop pursuing H while EA/PA was going on. I wouldn't have known to bite my tongue a thousand times a day; not saying what I really wanted to say, but instead saying "I am sorry you feel/felt that way".
Once things were better, and on the way to a R, I stopped coming here as much. I would come and check in on my favorite people and check out other threads occasionally, and see how others are keeping their changes going. I also come here to see what the newbies are doing to begin their journey.
The occasional 2x4's we all get from time to time are not from uncaring people, so don't take them as such. We have all become like an extended family that is spread all over the world. So, MrBond is like your brother, 25, like your big sister, me like a goofy cousin, and we all want you to succeed.
Do what is best for you; we will be here for you however often you are here.
