Are there any midlife women who want daily sex?

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

I have considered this dynamic. My current wife has observed that various social "misfits," notably some people we know with aspergers syndrome find it very easy to be in my presence.

Her observation is that I don't immediately 'judge them' in a way that is more characteristic of broader society. In a sense I let them 'be" who they are. But because they might miss social cues, they might violate certain boundaries of social norms and I need to mindful of that.

I can give a couple of examples.

That is not the only type of example. Years ago when I was working with a disaster recovery group, the FEMA representative noted that in the chaos and the upset of the disaster, some victims seemed to migrate to me as a very calming influence. I was seemingly unaffected by the conditions and could tend to what they needed. I seemed to handle conditions better than some of my coworkers.

When asked about this and if I had any training in this, I said "no." "It's not about me, it's about them and what they need in the moment. It's not that I am unaffected, I am affected. I tend to notice it and then move on.

So, in that external observation by my wife and others, I sometimes wonder if she realizes that she is, in a way, including herself in the field of misfits that I allow to be who they really are.

In my first marriage, the dramatic change in sex was striking and unexpected. The affair and WAW was, from what I've pieced together, a defensive move: fear that I would leave my wife and son because of the lack of sex. That's just one layer of the onion. But in three different cases, no level of frustration and/or complaint about sex has altered the behavior of the other person.

In essence, I feel "lied to."

Another possible way of viewing this is that if I did not want this to happen then I should never have gotten involved with anyone and certainly not gotten married because 'expectations" are what keeps getting in the way and feeding the complaint.

The Captain