After contemplating my revelation over the last few days, I've found myself having feelings again for my wife. I'd all but shut that part of me down, because it was distracting/upsetting her when she'd notice it, and the false hope was crushing for me as well.
Our day to day continues to be fantastic, but it's still as friends. She got a text from one of her friends today, one that she interpreted as him asking her on date. She was uncomfortable with him asking her that, and then apologized for even mentioning it to me (it happened while I was there, and she started talking about it; I didn't ask). She said she could tell I was upset, even though I thought I hid that fairly well. Regardless of where we are heading, we are still married, and the thought of her going out on date with anyone just makes my heart sink. She didn't get angry at me, and I told her I that it was fine, I was just confused, and we left it at that.
An hour later it was like it never happened. I don't know if I'm ready to start loving her again, since I know that she still sees divorce as what she wants. We haven't talked about it in a couple weeks, but I'm not making any assumptions. For now I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing, as we are having a good time. I just need to keep my heart in check, so it doesn't ruin it.
