...that she had maintained a long-term relationship with another woman.
And in that instant I understood what I had been "fighting" while falling deeply in love with her. As long as I allowed her to be with me and non-sexual, we were remarkably close. Sex got in the way.
Reminds of the gender-reversed situation where a young gay man has a girlfriend while he's trying to come to terms with his orientation. She falls in love with him and provides him with emotional support (maybe needed in particular because of his struggle), but they never become sexual. She's hoping for more, but is eventually heartbroken as she learns the truth and he comes out of the closet. Dan Savage explained the not-too-uncommon situation in one of his podcasts. Dan was angry about his fellow gay men "using" women like this. Women in this situation are sometimes refered to as fag hags. Don't know if there is a similar name for men in the gender-reversed situation.
