JS said two things worth repeating...

protect yourself because of OM and his mom's position in your W's life...

and by your words, all she asked was that you take things slow with the D...

Things you know:
+ believe none of what they say
+ believe only 50% of what they do
+ no expectations
+ be careful about having too much hope
+ try not to be happy because of her unhappiness

When the heck are you getting that roomba?