I am clearly aware now that I have Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome. I didn't always have this (although I am sure it was buried deep inside). But the reality is the last 5-6 years I have been living to please her and my life has become about her and trying to make her happy and has ceased being about me and what I want. I have become passive aggressive, angry, manipulative, weak, unable to set boundaries or stand up for myself and incapable of following through on most tasks because I have become so distracted. I isolated myself from a large group of friends that I had and have not been around men really in 4 years. Before our hardship, I was much more integrated, not afraid of conflict and was great with people; I knew who I was and was proud of my accomplishments. I was considered a great and kind leader in business, managing and mentoring dozens of brilliant tech minds.
The strategy I am currently employing is The Last Resort because that is where I am. I am now going to take up boxing, I am going to sporting events and college alumni meetings, reconnecting with friends and I am slowly regaining my confidence. It is going to be a long process. I am also going to start setting boundaries with her and stop saying yes to things that I don't want to do.
