She did try to tell me that I was confusing sex with intimacy.
That is a problem...One I wish you could address again, with her.
Because to her sex is not intimacy. Doesn't mean that you are wrong for feeling that it is.
Simply put, it shows intimacy for you, and you are not wrong in that....just as she is not wrong for her feelings.
I like coffee with 2 creams and no sugar, doesn't make everyone who drinks it black 'wrong'.
Tea and SS, since you're posting here, it is a problem, we don't vent here about the stuff we are happy about. Are there things you haven't tried?
I forget where I read this, maybe SSM, I tried this and it helped.
My wife likes to shop, she likes second hand stores and buying stuff for the house. It's something she loves to do, I told her this and she agrees. I asked her if she felt I was better about dealing with the difference in our sex drives (lack from my POV), she thought I had. I thanked her.
She was understandably leery and curious as to the topic. I reminded her that I really liked sex. There was nothing wrong with her low drive, and there was nothing wrong with my high drive. We were just different in that regard. So saying that...
I liked sex, I would only have it with her. That would be like her only going shopping when I went with her and only when I wanted to go. She was listening still but got a little defensive.
She said that I could always 'get off' by myself. I smiled and said, true, but that would be like the only place you could go shopping without me is the grocery store...helpful, needed, but in the end? Not really entertaining.
That dialogue was, for us, a great way to start addressing the problem.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
