Are there any midlife women who want daily sex?

[25yearsmlc]

tea, captain, ssm

Tea I'm interested in knowing if your w has had ANY interest increase since the big accusation?


Apparently there's a thread of jealousy in her. Interesting. Have you flat out told her that she has rejected you

for years and that for every night that you went without sex as a couple,

was a missed opportunity...a chance for her to show you that you are desired as a man.

And each time that didn't happen, you were hurt. Men are allowed feelings too.


It's not a "Complaint"; it's a statement of fact. Why doesn't that matter?

And Tea, as much as I do NOT approve of affairs,

isn't there a part of her that knows she's pushing you into the arms of OW?

OR at least fears it? Sheesh...

While not all women may be like this my personal experience, as I related to my wife, is that the women I come to care about in long-term relationships apparently enter them so that they can be whole they are as non-sexual creatures. And there must be enough of these sexual issues to have it be part of the conversation.


God, I sure hate to harp on this, but I'm a little unclear and a little stubborn-( I kind of can't believe what she's doing).

Maybe a word is missing in your paragraph.

IF I got this right, you said the women YOU have "come to care about", enter the relationships Because they can be "whole"....as non sexual creatures"?...

Not clear on that sentence or its' meaning. (And btw, being "whole", by definition, excludes non sexual creatures. TO me, it's a contradiction in terms imo).

I assume you have been with other women. Well, did they manage to like it as far as you know? Or are you saying ALL these other women had no sexual interest in you?

(If so, Is that part of what made you care for them? IF so, that's a reflection on you, not them. )
Maybe I misunderstood.

If I recall correctly, you lost a lot of weight recently, right?

Forgive me for saying this but, before this weight loss,

may I assume you were pretty overweight? Let's say 50-75lbs or more, over?

IF SO, that would explain a lot. First, there seems to be an underlying theory that obese people lack sex drive. (I have a very heavy sister who would happily disprove this)but it seems to stick for men in terms of perception.
Weird in a way b/c women are held to higher (smaller) standards but the sexuality libido trait seems more attached to men. IDK...

I mean, maybe non sexualized women felt safer around you b/c they mistakenly assumed you were asexual due to the weight. I can't really explain the logic of it but

I have actually heard women making comments to the effect that gay men and obese men feel equally safe for these women to be around as if they "know he won't try anything"...and so when the man does make a pass, the women are shocked.

Does any part of this ring true?

At least it could give me insight and if it is at least partly true, then your w has not seen you as a sexual "creature" for awhile. True?
Now she's beginning to. OR at least
she sees that other women might be seeing you sexually, and YOU need to pick up on that b/c it probably is happening. LET IT...enjoy it.

You informed her that there's no one else and you weren't seeking it out and she has thus far acted exactly the same...hmmm.

Next time you have sought it out "so far" or "yet"...

Maybe we can try a little mystery b/c there actually HAS been a change in your m.

You look & feel different and people have noticed. (SHE has noticed!) Has she complimented you on taking care of your body/health better?

As for the mystery--hey I'm not TOTALLY into games but maybe a little witholding of information. She doesn't need to know who you are with at all times, or where you went and yada yada...
No, nothing like making up lies, but some keeping to yourself and some mystery. Be vague about GAL but GAL asap. That's the biggest help in a way.

In some way, maybe even words, ACKNOWLEDGE that indeed you ARE a sexual man like you always said!! Only now, everyone else sees this too....sure would be NORMAL/nice if she did too, since she's your wife!

back to your previous r's with women...any of them sexually lasting or "successful"?

Just to make one tiny observation that will sound like a sweeping generalization-it's not, but it MIGHT apply somewhere around here if not to you, then someone else.

I have 5 brothers. I KNOW (more than I wish to know really) that 3 of them have wives who feel VERY happy with their sex lives. They compliment my 3 brothers.
I have 2 other brothers and they both complain their wives don't like sex enough. The one who is divorced (at HIS urging) was described as "Frigid" with "sex abuse in her past"...both of which were LIES he told. And that deeply infuriated me as I love all my sister's in law. My brothers did well but these 2 are blowing it. The divorced one...well, I lost a lot of respect for him when he left his first w and lied about her.

Both of those women at one time LOVED my brothers and both of them in a moment of weakness, after drinks at a holiday function (different years)

where they didn't mean to bad mouth their h's, confided to me how UNsatisfactory their sex lives were with these 2 brothers.

My older sil asked me questions about my sex life to compare b/c she said she's given hj's to my brother, "hundreds of times" (b/c intercourse is too much work for him??) , or whatever, and he NEVER EVER has done for her, what she does for him..."hundreds of times" versus "NEVER"...and that brother is very obese and she's not. She's Andy Mcdowell beautiful and slim, but he treated her this way...crazy...

The fact that no women had complained to my older brother out loud before, was evidence to HIM, of his prowess or maybe he didn't care....but OMG, that same brother told me his w was "frigid" and had never had an orgasm...well guess what? NOT TRUE. She has them with her 2nd h all the time now, and she had them BEFORE my brother. He either selectively lied or just lied...outright.


And btw, both brothers who's wives were not happy with the sex were/are both overweight. The other three are not. Hmm.

So It bugged me that my older brother would lie about his w, bad mouthing her when the fact is, he was lousy in bed. BUT WORSE, I met up with an old gf of his at a party 2 years ago who volunteered similar information to my sister and I ....OMG how mortifying. I mean, how bad does he have to be to have an old gf from 25 years ago feel like telling his sisters how bad he was??? Like how did that even come up?

But it's HIM badmouthing a great woman that really killed me. I think he's terrified he's lousy in that sex department and divorced his first w to get a lower maintenance one. And he did. His new wife wanted a child, they did in vitro (don't ask why) and she's having a child now at age 50. Her first, his second. Ask me next year if they're still m.

POINT? Just how HE saw things so differently than his wife did.

The younger brother was very inexperienced and his lovely wife said something similar but more vague, just that "he doesn't seem to know how to please a woman, he thinks just being inside me is magical" AND "won't do anything else", to please her etc. Tea, yes I KNOW you are different. But that younger brother complains about her 'never wanting to sleep with him" as if SHE has a disorder. I feel like saying look at your mirror or weight scale. HIS wife is also attractive, striking looking even. And petite. Maybe weighs 110lbs...

Well, so I had to put it out there. This "blame the woman's low libido" for a man's ignorance happens in my own family. Good grief, I can only imagine with dread, what it must be like in repressed cultures where a woman is NOT even supposed to enjoy it b/c of temptation....so sad.

But I digress...sorry Tea.

But let me know if you think the prior weight issues played a role. It'll be a start.

(( ))

Yet, thank-you for taking a look and trying to to be helpful.

Now, to your question:

In a word: No.

I've seen no difference. And yes, I flat out told her that she rejected me and that the cost of that is a much diminished relationship...one where I cannot and do not share my most intimate self.

This is more a friendship and a housemate arrangement without any of the "friends with benefits" trappings.

I'd love to spend more time on this but I have to go this morning and make a presentation to a group. Maybe later.

The Captain