However, if you get into this position again regardless of the circumstances, you need to become mysterious. Leave her with a feeling of "It went great last time, why isn't he responding now".
She could be just making sure "You are still available". Not to be negative or a jerk, but you have to leave her wanting more. If there is ANY such thing as competing for your W when OM is possibly involved. You have got to show her and make her know you are NOT waiting for this type of interaction again.
You are moving on with or without her and you sure the hell won't be doing this if OM is around. Goal is to leaving yourself in the best light possible. You did that.
I haven't visited your thread in awhile, so just stating a briefly educated opinion.
Just a quick update.. been networking at a convention for the past couple days. Have some other thoughts about all of that, but it's been keeping me busy from 7am-9pm.
Did speak briefly with WAW yesterday as she was trying to coordinate picking up some stuff. I was on my way out the door and I think my tone of voice might have been a little impatient.. I was worried about getting across town on time, and really didn't want to deal with her wants, especially given the circumstances. Just made it clear that since it wasn't a matter of life or death, I didn't have time to take care of it.
I took care of it today, and left her a bag of tomatoes and garlic.. I texted her know the stuff was going to be available for her to get and she texted back "Thanks. I hope you have a great day."
She was emphatic about how great she thought I would be w/ the networking stuff (why, I don't know..she always complained about my introversion and refusal to be more sociable). I think perhaps some of my "introversion" was really shyness, so I've been doing my best to not be a victim to that limitation. I think I'm doing a good job so far, with a couple lapses.
Read the N.U.T.S book a few days ago. Interesting ideas, but I can't say it rocked my world. Some of the stuff just seemed silly. But the emphasis on integrity and self-respect certainly resonated with me.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
There is also lots of good info your w provided. It's awesome that she felt safe enough to share it with you. I hope you see that as a HUGE positive. It mean's all your hard work.. is working.
I honestly don't know if it's a good or bad thing that it lasted two hours.
How are you doing now? Do you feel like you have expectations that she will continue to reach out? Are you keeping yourself detached?
Overall.. well done. Great DBing.
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
HUGE positive. It mean's all your hard work.. is working.
I don't know how much I think of it in terms of being a huge positive. I would like to believe that it is, I really would.
It is hard for me to see my work as hard right now - because I view it as almost essential to moving forward in my life.
At times, this can make me feel a little anxious and
I am doing my best to keep detached. Being busy has helped: spent the last 3 days at a convention of sorts, meeting people and talking has helped. Tough to explain a lot of things though when they ask about what brought me to live here.. I've occasionally referred to WAW as "XW" or "W" and referred to STBXFIL as FIL. I don't really want to be bringing that situation into the conversation with strangers.
As far as having expectations is concerned: I'm doing my best not to, and definitely not planning or acting based on any of those things when they pop into my head.
Val, Thank you for contributing your insights to my thread. I really appreciate it.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
Sit still amid your doubt, restlessness, loneliness, & anxiety. They are not obstacles to your practice―they are your practice
Guess ubb doesn't parse escape tags. That's supposed to be a dash, for those who are curious.
Exhausted from spending most of the past 60 hours or so networking and attending talks on a variety of topics. Met a lot of interesting people and got some perspective on my own career situation.
The apartment is a bit of a mess though, so I'm going to have to get back up on that.
Also, missed meditating for the past couple days. I think that plays a huge role in my ability to 'surf' the waves of emotion and thought that I personally experience. So I definitely need to get back on that.
Signing a lease (hopefully) this week on a place only about .8 miles from where I currently live. It's a definite step down in size and quality, but its also 40% less in rent and no gas bill. I think its a month-to-month lease, too. Could be useful! It should work until I get the job thing happening in a bigger/better way.
More to say, but just a little tired at the moment.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
Read the N.U.T.S book a few days ago. Interesting ideas, but I can't say it rocked my world. Some of the stuff just seemed silly. But the emphasis on integrity and self-respect certainly resonated with me.
Sorry you feel that way, but it's your opinion. Now go read what "What Women Want Men to Know". See if it seems silly then. Written by a Woman.
Heard of "Ways of the Superior Man"?
Knowledge is awareness; awareness leads to strength and success.
I hate answering a question with a question, but this is one of the situations that I have to. Does curiosity really kill the cat? I'm a Lion and I hope I don't die....
Why do I think you found it silly? I don't have a clue Man, other than you saying so. Your opinion is your opinion. No judgement from me at all.
Would you like me to ask how you formed your opinion? This isn't a book club, but you are more than welcome to express your feelings free of persecution.
Check out some of the other books too. All education is good.
