I sent MIL flowers

[rysmom]

I would discuss it with h about filing in person but i dont think he can take anymore stress now. h is a real mommas boy and is taking his mothers illness very hard. when he was here he said mother signed something saying she didnt want anymore treatment done that if it was her time she wanted to go. when h told me this he almost broke down it was very sad time.
when my h first got to my house and came in my first feeling was like he had never left, i dont know what i was thinking but i wanted to give him a hug like nothing ever happened. i told my mother and she said i should have gone with the feeling but i dont want to look to ,desperate and needy if hes in love with ow. when we were having conversation our son stayed close by on step and watched us and listened, i didnt know he was there cuz the wall was in the way.

[verycrazy]

Oh, rysmom, I understand. I only meant to talk to him about what the two of you were going to do in the future. Maybe a small R talk. I understand how he feels with the DNR for his mother. Recently my mother was in the hospital; she had a stroke two years ago, and she got bad again. My sister told us she had a DNR, and that she would have to tell the doctors to pull the plug if it came to that. She pulled through, thankfully. I hope your MIL will be okay.

Try to go see her if you can, now you know you can handle running into H.

I agree with your mother, you should have gone with the feeling. I don't think it would have looked desperate at all, it would have looked like you comforting him, nothing more.

I wonder if your S was listening, hopefully.
So, go give your S a hug. Sorry, I think I will go hug my S, now.
vc

[MrBond]

"I would discuss it with h about filing in person but i dont think he can take anymore stress now."

Another excuse. He has the OW right now to help deal with his stress. It's not your problem anymore.

He keeps pushing you to get another car. I can see from your posts that you are leaning towards doing so with your mutual finances. But you keep complaining about his spending habits.

Why don't you just say "thank you but we just can't afford it right now" and leave it at that? Again, what steps are you taking to make your situation better? He showed up on his own so it had nothing to do with your efforts. What are your mini goals?

Or do you want to stay miserable for another 4 years?

[rysmom]

it did have to do with my efforts. h would not have felt welcome and safe to come in the house if i had not sent mother flowers and been texting him to ask how his mother was for the past month. i think u shoud Give credit where credit is due. God you are tough.

[Walking]

Nice response Rysmom.

I understood where Mr Bond was coming from, but what I like about your response is that you are getting strong and standing up for yourself. That's progress girlfriend.

Keep at it.

(hugs) V

[verycrazy]

You know, rysmom, Walking is right.


vc

[25yearsmlc]

You know, rysmom, Walking is right.


vc

could Bond and Walking BOTH have a point?

hey, I'm Just sayin' I thought Bond had a great point. We are here b/c it seems rysmom is stuck big time. And you know vc, I hear what you are saying about not wanting to file and all. But she says she's seen >1 L, and they all said the same...so, what choice does she really have?

Besides, if her h is half as affected by HER choices, and it's not about the money,

then it might be just the thing to tip him over towards her. No, I don't think you should do it for THAT reason, rysmom, but it is a possible outcome.

Doing nothing hasn't helped and has cost you a ton of time and money.

I wish I'd protected our assets sooner as we are behind now, where we should be. But I can't dwell there, I did what I could with the tools I had at the time.

It's all any of us can do. Now you have more tools, so, it's up to you.

vc, you know I love you (all began with your hilarious screen name, and me being an Auburn grad--see Cam today? No i didn't forget U of A...well, yeah, later we'll talk....)

[verycrazy]

ROLL TIDE!!

[25yearsmlc]

ROLL TIDE!!

pfffttt!!

so there...and

ps

Clemson's stupid

[MrBond]

I did give you credit for giving MIL flowers, or have you forgotten. Your H seeing you, however, was not planned by you just an unplanned result. So you don't get credit for that.

And if you read my complete post, I focused on your fear of losing everything because your H has been spending money or have you forgotten?

That is always your immediate worry. What do you plan to do about that? Hard on you? I don't think so. For far too long you've been complaining that you'll end up destitute with your son because of your H's spending habits. But you don't do anything. You even said he bought a Bentley, which alone I find hard to believe. I mean if you were in that much debt, how did he even secure a loan for such a high priced vehicle? In fact, how do you survive the day to day things like food, gas, mortgage, etc. if you have no money?

Unless you and your H are filthy rich, I don't see how you can swing it.