Time For Change

[MrBond]

I don't see where your W had ever lied to you. As a matter of fact, she told you she was going out with someone, she has the right to have anyone she wants watch your children when it's on her time and she had to put up with your alcoholic mood swings for 5 years.

So now that she wants out to actually enjoy life, you get angry because it's not with you. Sorry it [censored], but it's the way it is. You've just been interpreting things your own way as a manner of trying to control the situation. Well you can't.

She has a right to do what she wants right now. It's so obvious she lied because she knew you were going to blow up. I was surprised at how violent your confontation was. She had every right to do anything she wants and you can't fault her for that.

How do you think she felt all those years when dealing with your crap. Just because you're okay now doesn't make all the pain, hurt, anger, frustration go away on her part. You think that because you're okay, everything should be okay.

You want to walk away? Fine. It's obvious you don't respect her still and still act the way you did when you were abusing alcohol. Go back and do some self reflection. It's why she hasn't come back. It's because what she's afraid would happen has happened. The changes you made were superficial. If they weren't, you wouldn't have blown up like that.

She's been honest with you and never threatened like alot of the other WASs have been. But for a moment, see things from your W's eyes. If she was abusing alcohol before and acted the way you did, would you take her back? Would you understand why she's doing what she's doing? In her eyes, she's just getting what she feels she deserves.

She told you she loved you. But you can only see the OM. He's only the band aid to help her emotionally. And by you raging, you justified what she thought.

So if you really don't want to save the marriage or can't understand her point of view and work on it, then what's stopping you from filing?