Thank you, Psych. I have read DR several times over. Implementing the strategies have been a struggle for me before, but I am learning.
As far a GAL'ing, I have realized that I can't keep digging my heels in. I need to start taking the necessary steps toward making a life for my kids and I. I just wrote my H with the following email:
Okay, here's the deal.
Tomorrow, I am opening up a bank account in my own name. We will need to agree to some kind of temporary financial support, and we'll need to have that notarized. In order to have it court ordered, we would have to have already filed for dissolution. I know we don't have the money for that right now, so I'm going to be trusting you to abide by our agreement. Once we have our finances figured out, I will move the boys and I into an apartment here. I would absolutely love to go back to Panama City as soon as possible, but I need to be here for how ever long it takes for the divorce to be finalized. Once the divorce is filed, we can go ahead and do a court order for temporary support. That will enable me to take advantage of the programs that are available for single moms (food stamps, wic, financial aid for my education, etc). Doing so, will put us both in a better financial situation. Depending on how long it takes for the divorce to be finalized, I may or may not be able to complete the courses to get my certification in Massage Therapy. The course takes 7 1/2 months. I am looking for a job around this area to help supplement. I will be relying heavily on friends and neighbors to help with shuttling the kids around, but I will expect you to help out where you can. We will need to arrange some sort of temporary custody arrangements for the boys as well. This will allow you to continue to bond with them, and will benefit me as well. Once the divorce is final, we can both go our separate ways. The boys and I will go back to Panama City then. Until then, please understand how difficult it would be for me to be active in the divorce process. Besides, I would hope you would cherish this last little bit of time with the boys, as your visits will be few and far between in the near future.
I hope that we can continue to work together and get through this as amicably as possible. I think it's best that we discuss of this kind of thing over email from here on out. It'll keep us both accountable and will prevent any verbal arguments. If you have any questions or anything you'd like to add, let me know.
