Well, I have now been with New Guy about a year. I am happy with him but not sure how I feel about marriage any more. I think of marrying him sometimes
As far as the X, he is involved with OW. He has not made that much progress in showing interest in our D. Maybe some. And I know that his medical
Original OW appears to be long gone, although X still has some pics up of her.
And...sometimes I still miss him. That said, I know that X needed to grow up and that I hindered him from doing so. In particular, he needed to learn to deal with financial issues and come to terms with where he is in life. There were, however, times when I think of him because I think various circumstances evoked the same feelings in us.
I probably haven't had a real conversation w/X in at least four years, but I rather assume that I never will have another real conversation with him, too.
He mentioned that he has low testosterone. I have wondered if this might explain some of the juvenile behavior, but in a way, what difference does it make?
And the other thing is that I think that he was just using me to further his career. I worked hard to help him and I now realize what a mistake that was.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Things have continued to go well with the New Guy. There are so many things that I find intriguing about him.
I still write about X in here as I observe his MLC from afar.
But I was startled that I had a dream that X and I had a new house.
I went through a phase of feeling bad about X lately, but I need to keep him in the rear view mirror. It can be hard to do, but I think the grief can come in waves sometimes. I went for a long time without thinking much about him and then he sort of popped back into my thoughts.
He doesn't contact me and I contact him only as it pertains to our D.
I sense that he might be making some progress in terms of coming out of his MLC, but I guess at this point I am glad primarily for D.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
It's funny how dreams work. Before my wife had the courage to tell me she resents me and before she moved into the living room, I had a dream that we made love. I woke up and rested my hand on her shoulder. Haven't dreamed anything like that in a long time.
That dream was followed up by dreams of her being aggrivated with me. I recall feeling hurt. Now days she's almost never in my dreams. When she is she's bitter towards me, but I do know that it doesn't invoke feelings of hurt.
I hope that means progress on my part seeing as how we can't really control our dreams. Either way, your dream sounds very nice. You're happy with your current relationship, so maybe your dream with your X is kind of a peace in you......
Forward, My ex has/had really low testosterone levels in which he is now getting treatment for. He told me in one of our conversations that if he would have been normal hormone wise, we would not have gotten divorced. I am not so sure because I think his issues are much deeper than that....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Re. the hormone thing--I agree. I do think the issues are deeper w/my X. I just wondered if he would ever try to talk with me about them. I guess not, and frankly at this time I am not really into the idea anyway.
And I am frustrated with him again. I still have to do 10,000 favors for him before he will acknowledge or do 1 for me. And I realized that dynamic has been that way for a very long time.
But...I do notice that the crazy look is faded. He seems slightly more interested in our D.
Things have continued to go well w/New Guy, who has been very kind and loving. I guess things are moving to a new level now, which is a little scary. I do need to talk with him more because we haven't spoken much about future...but it is a little scary to bring it up, I guess.
I am trying to manage some of my own health issues and take care of D. One thing that is a relief is that it is easier now to take care of her. She can handle some things on her own.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
There is not much to report. X looks miserable. He has not done much to take any initiative w/D5 but is at least somewhat reliable with drop-offs and pickups.
We are just polite to each other and that is about it.
I will say that the work that I have done on myself has made me see X differently now. I am more confident now and would not put up with some of his crap now.
I see that X was verbally abusive to me (not just in MLC). Part of me sometimes hurts as I felt there was a time when he really understood me, but now I am not so sure.
New Guy has been good to be with. I do see some of our differences, though. I guess that it is not a matter of having differences, but how you work them out. This is probably something to discuss.
With that said, he has been nothing but kind to me and I love him.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
