W is moving out.....life goes on...

[In_Shock]

[/quote] from my dear friend 25years


Keep up the PMA and do the GAL

this program works if you work the program (sorry if that sounds 12 steppy, but..so what?)

Absolutely. AA type programs do work. I have actually compared DB to AA. Work it work it work it.

and in discussions with your w, I'd suggest you SAY LESS, not more

Never easy for me but I'm getting better and learning. Every time I get in a painful convo - whether or not I initiate it, I get my A$$ handed to me one way or another. KISS - keep it simple stupid. Talk about S and absolute necesary things. Otherwise. Be pleasant and detach.
Make sense?

Let her solve her own puzzle. You cannot put the pieces in the right places for her or stand hovering over her shoulder telling her which piece goes where.

Yep. Got it. Mouth shut. Make popcorn. Watch her implode. Detach. Lovingly. But. Detach.



If she ever loved you deeply and if you were ever a truly happy couple

let those memories resurface as they MUST, IN TIME. She still says she did love me deeply at one time. She really did. But she blames me for killing her love. Yes, time is my friend if I do what I'm supposed to do. It's hard. But it's necessary.

..but the more you stand by to remind her of them--the longer it'll take for her.

Yep. Understood.

In the long run, her moving out probably is going to speed up the resolution of this, either way. That's not all bad Mary...


She keeps saying she's DONE with me. I keep hearing her rewrite everything and make me into such a bad person. My boss and some others have given me feedback that shows I'm not a bad person nor am i crazy. I think once she's away from me, she will realize that --- hopefully. I've tried to stay nice throughout all this sh!! but when she started in about taking my S, that was the time I really lost it. But as you and others have said, she will speak in absolute negatives NOW. I must not let those horrible hurtful words become my reality.

and of course, fight for your boy. I understand the issue of an adoptive parent versus the caretaker, but my GUESS (semi educated one) is that a family court would at least listen to the "best interests of the child" argument
and that's a little leverage you have, vis a vis HIM...

Keep on keeping on. Are you on Anti-depressants yet? Hope so. And I say that as a person who used them so I could get off the

damn highway of negative thinking & looping around, never taking an exit ramp to SLOW down my looping and negative spiraling,

and really SEE my life and what direction I wanted. Meds can help with that. Also helps with not blurting out stuff you almost always regret later.

Many hugs

((( )))
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