Wife Says I fill her with hate when she sees me

[25yearsmlc]

fwiw,

I understand your pain and your position. But here's a little food for thought...

We often think we cannot (WILL NOT) forgive something.

But then, we find that if we are totally honest with ourselves,

maybe one big SIN isn't worth throwing it all away.

And, in the end, what I needed was to know it would not happen again.

I suspect that's a biggie for you right now.

I believe in my case, it won't re occur. What I KNOW is

that if my h were to get his wanderlust again --I'd regretfully but comfortably let him go and move on with my life without him.

No one, including h, will ever hurt me like that again. I KNOW this about ME.


But when you choose to not even TRY to forgive, that just smacks of pride and ego and anger, to me.


And plus, then you'll always wonder if you were really so qualified to withhold forgiveness, b/c as you have come to realize, You played a part in this...( at least, I felt that way. )

And my h has come a long way to redeeeming himself-a great example for the kids

and I have come a long way towards full forgiveness--also a great example for the kids.


That's our legacy to them. You can screw up, or be deeply wounded, and still recover.