I don't think couples therapy is the route to go. We've tried that route at least twice, and it didn't resolve the issue. The focus was put on me. It made my W feel even more rejected. We weren't able to work as partners towards solving the problem. I think the sex therapist had the right idea. Begin with nonsexual touching to desensitize and move toward sexual intimacy. I had a hard time relaxing, and my W was insulted that we even had to go to a sex therapist. This was prior to the separation.
The difference now is that the friendship is stronger and there is more time spent together socially and recreationally and in ways that reflects her needs. I'm more flexible and emotionally mature, and less inhibited. The potential for a sexual/physical relationship is greater.
I don't think bringing in a professional is the way to start. I think I'm going to have to be the catalyst. I think I'm looking for some sort of sign on her part to move forward.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
