Having a little bit of a down day, but this is the first in two weeks. I have been crying a little but not because of loss of hope but just because I am feeling a little lonely. I also pursued him a little this morning but he didn't reject me... much.

He was sleeping on the couch as usual and I squeezed onto the couch next to him just to feel the warmth and listen to him breath. He woke up and asked what I was doing and said to cut it out. If he were actually mad about it, he would have huffed and puffed and maybe even left the couch, but he didn't. I know it was a bit of a mistake, but I just couldn't go any longer without some closeness.

He is leaving again tonight for some partying. Otherwise, he has been very kind to me the last few days and I might venture as far to say that he is actually trying to be a better person, father, and maybe even husband.

Our 15th anniversary of being together is next Monday and I can't wait to give him the huge and revolutionary gift (a new garage).

Me: 32/ H: 32/ S13/ D5
T: 15/ M: 8
Rock bottom: 4/11
ILYB: 5/11, but I knew it at least a yr before
Gaining acceptance: 8/11

You must be the change you wish to see. - Mahatma Gandhi