Did you start visualizing your homes' new look yet?
You appear weak to him. Try showing something different. Change things. Be you, weep and feel sorry for yourself sweetie, but you need to show strength.
Do it. Change your home. It's rewarding and you will feel better. I KNOW you can do it. Hang in there.
Oh Lucky I am SOOOOOOOO sorry. Even knowing it's going to happen isn't the same as the reality of the 'gaps' and 'holes'. It's a horror no matter how strong we are or how strong we want to appear. Don't beat yourself up for being weepy. Just remember, you're human. We all backslide. That was a time that it makes sense to have lost it... now just pick it back up and show him your confident self.
Like you and I have talked about before, the kids are what will get US through this raw period. Anything you can do with them/for them will at least put a little salve on the wound. I know, not enough, but I keep thinking I'm in AA or something with my 'one day at a time' mantra.
Please remember that I'm thinking of you. I'm not a praying person, but I am sending you good thoughts and love across the miles. Take control of the roller coaster. Don't let unstable H drive you off the tracks. ((((lots of love)))))
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
It's so tempting to just print out the separation papers and sign them.. show him I'm ready to end this... I'm done hoping for anything. He's left me twice now. He's living with his third woman. I feel like throwing up.
Going to wait until I feel stronger to make a real decision tho'.
@Shock - Thanks. I understand completely. If I didn't have my kids to prepare for preschool and kindergarten this morning I'm pretty sure I'd be wallowing in my own misery. But time marches on with or without me... and my kids need caring for.
'He just texted me... "At this point I have to accept that I may never be good for you. Be well. I hope you have a good night." '
If I had a dollar for every time I heard something like this I could retire. I think its just the WAS's way of rationalizing what they are doing. My H alternates this type of comment with blaming me for all of our problems.
I'm so sorry about the holes he left. It is so hard to do, but you have to focus on yourself right now and not him- wise folks on here are giving me the same advice. I am trying desperately hard to do the same, so I know how difficult that is.
The GALing really will keep you sane, so try to fill your calendar with anything and everything.
It's so tempting to just print out the separation papers and sign them.. show him I'm ready to end this... I'm done hoping for anything. He's left me twice now. He's living with his third woman. I feel like throwing up.
Going to wait until I feel stronger to make a real decision tho'.
You have to do what's right for you. Don't rush your decision, though.
Originally Posted By: realormakebeliev
'He just texted me... "At this point I have to accept that I may never be good for you. Be well. I hope you have a good night." '
If I had a dollar for every time I heard something like this I could retire. I think its just the WAS's way of rationalizing what they are doing.
I think you're right on the money with this one. I can't remember the page, though, from the WAS Field Manual, though. Many of us have heard this one verbatim.
Originally Posted By: realormakebeliev
The GALing really will keep you sane, so try to fill your calendar with anything and everything.
Yes! Do this! There is nothing like some GAL'ing to improve your mental health.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard something like this I could retire. I think its just the WAS's way of rationalizing what they are doing. My H alternates this type of comment with blaming me for all of our problems.
Ah yes.. thank you. Trust not what they say. I forgot about that rule.
Thanks guys.
The more time I spend away from him.. the better I feel. He wants us to be good friends (the same we were before without that messy relationship in the way) but I can't be that for him yet. I just feel so low around him.
What hurts the most right now is when he calls K's place "home" and "my house".
The kids asked him on the phone today when they said their goodnights to him "when he was coming home". It's time we told the kids that Daddy doesn't live here anymore.
It really comes down to YOUR perception of YOURSELF. I can almost guarantee, if you can get to the point of self empowerment, he will take notice. When you KNOW you just are so much better than this and act like it, that's when the changes you HOPE for now will take place. Even if it is not with him, your life will change. You feel me on this?
Lots of advice and lots of support on this forum, but until YOU make these changes for yourself you will get no where. Not trying to say you can't speak the way you do here, but make sure when you are NOT posting, you are taking baby steps to self empowerment.
Many of us have heard this one verbatim.