Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[In_Shock]

OK more----- She told me this AM that the OW is not nor has never been the 'problem' with our R. She says I am my own worst enemy. I couldn't just 'be' i was always trying to fix thigns --- i couldn't sit still and just be.

my Division Chair today told me --- very interesting...that she sees me as PEACEFUL with a good heart. W told me verbatim that OW is PEACEFUL and I'm not

W said this am.....SHOW ME ---- I don't believe your changes. zYou can change on a dime. She gave an example: once many years ago she told me she wasn't happy with the fact that I 'bickered' alot -- my family is a bickering family. We don't hold grudges - just get it allout and over...anywayyyy...

W says --" so when i told you i don't like the bickering -- YOU JUST STOPPED" I can't trust your changes * *I have seen your changes in the past few months but I think you can turn on a dime --- I DO NOT BELIEVE IT\
ME: IF my changes are consistent will you believe them?
W: Maybe. Stop talking and show me


WTF???? AM I crazy or is she not as DONE and COMPLETELY closed off as she SAYS???? LASt night she CRIED (Emotion) becasue she said she was sad for the way things might have gone with US.............&&******ME: why didn't you TALK TO ME"????
W: you wouldn't have 'heard' me

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO committed to making this R work
I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO clue what W wants.


I am back on the DB train hook line and sinker (*to mix a metaphor)

f HER AND HER JOURNEY. If what i learned about OW today is correct, W is in for the fall of her life. Oh well....natural and logical consequences.... BLAHHHHH