don't engage in any more text wars. There are 3 possible responses when they spew or revise the marital history. You choose.
1) if they revise the marital history so wildly you are not even sure an event actually happened, let alone their version of it, you say
"Wow, I sure don't recall it that way but I'm sorry if you felt upset/hurt by it."
**(Note...don't deny out of hand. I once did that and said h was "lying," only to hear from my kids that the event HAD occurred & I had literally forgotten...ooops...my bad)**
2) If the revision has some merit, or a lot, and you wish you could go back in time to change YOUR behavior/reaction, you say "Yes well, if I had it to do over again, there are A LOT of things I'd do differently."
Neither of these replies worsens or escalates or makes you a doormat. They cannot really argue with either and the 2nd one shows YOU GET IT...and you are changing...
3) if the comment/message or revision seems important but you are STUCK w/ not knowing how the heck to answer, or IF to answer, you can say "W, I heard you. I'm sure there's a perfect response to that statement, but it escapes me at the moment."
No more arguing. It never helps and often worsens things. If she out and out lies, a simple denial suffices...
but mostly the above answers cover it all. You are fighting way too much with her
and challenging her choices. That makes her defend the choices and that cements them in her head.
I doubt a 25 y/o good looking guy in good shape is going to want to move in with a mother of 3 and HER mother too....good luck on that r lasting.
But now BACK TO YOU AND YOUR GAL....
I want to hear a lot more about THAT....
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
