Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[In_Shock]

lucky, my friend in the trenches of heartbreakville... I was speaking in haste this morning. I don't hate her. I do love her. I wish I could turn that off so it wouldn't hurt. I keep saying 25's --- forgiveness, it's your way out of he!!. over and over. This message board - a lifesaver for me. So many of us who unfortunately understand the pain, the loss, our lives turned upside down.... it's hard when family and friends think the answer to everything is just,as my nephew so bluntly said, " tell W to not let the door hit her a@@ on the way out!" They mean well. They love US. But WE want our family to stay intact..... it would be so much easier to be hateful and nasty. It's not my peronality. I don't think it's most of ours on this DB board. If anythig we're too accomodating.

Lucky, girl if you and I were closer in geography and had a way to get together, we could go out and take the kids to the park, GAL together~! You seem like a true, genuine good soul. As always I am rooting for you. And I watch your sitch with great interest b/c u seem to be a few days ahead of me....(bleahhhh) Take heart in knowing even though I don't personally know you, I do have you in my thoughts and several times a day I wonder about you and the little ones.

No, I have been nothing but nice and contrite to W. I'm at her mercy, and i do still love her and (for now) want things to work out with our family. As angry as I get, I then also start to blame myself for ..... what? Not being what she needed?? I dont' know.

Patience Patience Patience.