lc4 - I am relatively new to the boards, although not necessarily "new" to my situation at this point in the game. My H said he "wasn't sure he wanted to be married" back in early May of this year, then confessed to an affair with his high school girlfriend later in the summer. We are currently separated (you can read a little more about my sitch under newcomers "longtime lurker, firstime poster", although I've not posted a ton and haven't gotten too much feedback quite yet).
In any event, I've been following your situation for a while and have some specific questions for you regarding how you handled your H's OW (sounds like that is all over now, thankfully, but it was a mess, I gather, while it was happening!) My H broke contact with the OW (who is married with 4 kids, by the way!) but has been back in contact with her again for the past 3 weeks or so. I am obviously devastated by this turn of events and am not sure what, exactly, to do about it.
At this point, we are separated and I am staying in our house with our kids (ages 5 and 9). He is renting a month-to-month sublet temporarily while we "figure things out". But he's STILL SEEING THE OW!
So, my question to you is, how do I handle this? Two schools of thought that I can see...#1, I go dark except as it relates to the kids and force him to make his choice by removing myself from the situation and letting him "miss me", or #2, continue to see/talk to him, go to counseling (which we resumed yesterday only with my stipulation that we see a christian counselor, since we tried the traditional MC route and it didn't work), date him once every other week (his idea) and essentially keep him in my life as much as possible.
is this the right approach? Am I msking things too easy on him? There is a lot more detail I'm skipping over, but overall, that is the gist of things right now. I'm trying to be dignified, gracious, focus on my children and my own GAL activities (new job, yoga, bible study class, lots of friends, etc.) and keep a PMA around him as much as possible. But in doing so, am I simply allowing him to have his cake and eat it, too?
Just thought since you have been there, done that with an OW situation and seem to have emerged intact on the other side, you might be able to provide me some advice on the subject. I appreciate any thoughts you might have - thanks!!
