After giving it some more thought, I just had a realization. Essentially when each of us break down in communication, we do it opposite ways. This article http://www.marriagehelper.com/dominating_husband_or_wife.php pretty much describes the behavior of my wife. She takes the input and has negative beliefs, therefore gets defensive and upset over what could be nothing. I, on the other hand, break down on the other side. I would keep talking and talking to try and get my point across, instead of just understanding that she disagreed. That's been consistent within this process as well; I think that there is just something she doesn't see, so I kept trying to changer her mind. Basically, I've been controlling. Damn.
So now that I know this about myself, and she does too (or already did), I'm not sure what to do. I've already made some adjustments in my behavior, which has affected my controlling issues, but I haven't addressed it directly. I will try and be cognizant of our interactions and when my attitude changes. As I mentioned above, I'll try to approach listening less judgmentally. I don't have this behavior with anyone but my wife (that I can think of), and it really bothers me that I've let it go this far.
I can see how it happened. We leaned on each other in different ways early in our relationship. I helped her to deal with her emotions, and she helped me to become more responsible. As she became more adept, I became used to being the teacher and therefore kept the point of view that I had something she needed to understand. Along the way, I missed when it should have transfered to respectful disagreement or understanding.
