You're getting good advice here, from good people. And I know it can be hard to put into action - really hard, and it takes time - but it really worked for me and others here. Read those books (I did) and do what it takes to get yourself together. For me it was re-establishing a few friendships, doing a few little things for myself, exercise, and getting enough sleep. Oh yeah, the IC and ADs for a while too. What's it for you? All those things kept me busy and kept me from running my mouth without thinking and doing even more damage. Take care of yourself.
