Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[In_Shock]

well that was a futile night. I slept - with xanax - about 1 1/2 hours off and on. 25 - as always... thank you. I will post more later.

Lucky -- Yes, hon, I remember reading your sitch so many times thinking the same thing about how it mirrors mine SO completely in many ways. The one thing I'm having the most trouble with right now is her saying she will take my son. That is what is keeping me semi-sane through all this. I can't believe she would take him and move him out of his only home he's ever known - in with either just her (yeah, sure....) or with that lowlife OW.
Of course it adds insult to injury that i have no legal rights to him, so i am at her mercy. That is where the whole dying thing comes in..... It may not be fatal, but it feels like if she takes my only boy....i know people get divorced every day. Children are split b/w parents..... but.... i cannot do it. He is my world. I begged her please don't take him.

25 yes I will see a L asap but I know the law in this state. No two parent adoption. Great how the legal system has a heart huh? We ARE a family - regardless of definitions. We have been together longer than many marriages. And I LOVE my son. Yes, I will fight if need be, but I'm so afraid there are no options. So scared. So sad. Honesstly.... i don't know how people do it.

Thank you for the replies. I have to get ready for work. That should be interesting in my lack of sleep/lack of state of mind. with my lack of will to live. I'm ready to give up.

Trying to take a step back, but all i see is everythign falling away from me. My son. Everything.